Why doula care is essential at the end of life
In our death-phobic culture, many people encounter the dying process for the first time when they are caring for someone at the end of life or are encountering it themselves.
While the death process is natural and universal, it can be a daunting, emotionally fraught, and overwhelming time. In the midst of complex medical decisions and the logistics of caregiving, family members also must hold existential fears, navigate relational dynamics, come to terms with loss, and try to process anticipatory grief.
The truth is that death requires more than excellent clinical care. Families may be surprised to find that hospice does not offer 24/7 coverage, and that staff is usually only in the home for a few hours per week. The vast majority of the day-to-day experience of dying unfolds in the space between these visits, with family members and caregivers left to tend to the unfamiliar territory of death all on their own.
What does an end-of-life doula actually do?
End-of-life doulas are non-medical professionals who provide practical, emotional, and contemplative support for families through the entire arc of illness and death. Just as birth doulas serve the birthing process, death doulas support end of life transitions.
Among many responsibilities, we can act as patient advocates, trusted confidants, respite care providers, care coordinators, vigil holders, ritualists, and spiritual caregivers, accompanying both the dying person and their loved ones across the physical death threshold and into the grief process.
At The Wild End, I employ a unique advisory model where I work with only one family at a time. This highly selective approach allows me to provide an unparalleled level of attention, continuity, and personalized care to my clients. I serve as a guide through every medical, emotional, practical, spiritual, and logistical decision that arises in the end-of-life journey, filling gaps, coordinating clinical professionals, executing advance directives, holding space for family members, and serving the entire family system.
Who might benefit from working with an end-of-life doula?
You do not have to be actively dying to benefit from working with a doula. In fact, receiving support earlier in the course of a serious or terminal illness can give people and their loved ones with more time to come into relationship with mortality, explore spiritual questions, make important decisions, and consider how they want to approach the end of life.
The Wild End’s end-of-life advisory services may be especially helpful for:
People living with a serious, progressive, or terminal illness
Families and caregivers who need guidance through the practical, emotional, and spiritual terrain of dying
Adult children of aging parents who need help having difficult conversations, making plans, and preparing for changes in health status
People who fear death and are struggling to come to terms with their mortality
Those who are drawn to eco-spirituality, including dying closer to nature, bringing nature-based rituals to the bedside. and exploring the elemental and energetic dimensions of death
How do I find an end-of-life doula?
I offer a free connection call to anyone interested in end-of-life advisory services. The call is a time for us to get to know each other and feel into alignment. I welcome any inquiries at victoria@thewildend.com and am happy to answer any questions you may have.
Along with holding a Master of Public Health from Dartmouth College, I received end of life doula training from the University of Vermont Larner School of Medicine.
I provide in-person services in Durango, Colorado and the surrounding Southwest/Rocky Mountain region. For clients elsewhere in the United States, I offer virtual support with the option of in-person care when travel is requested.